Even As A Child - Nasty Nate’s Memoirs
September 14th, 2007It’s about 12 noon on a cold winter day in New York and the
snow just began to cover the pavement outside the window of my
cell. It had been snowing for a little over an hour, but for some
reason only laying in the grass. Before today I had only seen snow
fall on TV and never had the privilege of watching it fall and lie
on the ground.
I was new to this facility and I guess could be considered a Riker.
A Riker is what they call an inmate at Riker’s Island. My path in
life must have been very misguided to end up in a place such as
this. I spent a lot of time on the streets as a youth and I
guess you can say I learned “Street Smarts”. Unfortunately I had a
tough childhood and was forced into spending my time learning to
fend for myself.
At the age of 9, I found myself in my first bit of trouble. It was
no big deal, but the law thought otherwise.
I used a ladder that I found outside my neighbor Fred Gibraltar’s
kitchen window to get the height that I obviously lacked to reach
my 10 foot high destination, the window. The kitchen window had
one of those half moon shaped locks on it, they are easy to bypass
with a credit card and a little practise.
When I entered Mr. Gibraltar’s window I noticed almost immediately
his car keys sitting on his white kitchen table. The keys were a
mix of gold and silver, but what grabbed my attention was the pink
rabbits foot that was attached.
After pocketing the keys I quickly made a run through the front door
and down the 5 cement steps that led to the sidewalk and then to
the side of the street. I opened the unlocked door that I knew to
be his and placed the keys into the ignition of the 1972 VW Gremlin
he had so tactfully painted pink to match his lucky rabbits foot.
Soon I found myself passing the Maxi-Mart on the corner joyriding
down main street. I guess sometime on my short quest an officer
somehow noticed a pink Gremlin speeding down the wrong side of the
street with a 9 year old boy behind the wheel.
I think a combination of the siren and the red and blues lights
startled me so much that I ran the car straight into the front
steps of the local public library. The pink Gremlin came to an
abrupt halt along with my trip that lasted all of 4 city blocks.
Mr. Gibraltar lost his beloved pink VW Gremlin, but did not press
any charges. I think he was just happy to still have his lucky pink
rabbits foot. I was released back to my parents custody and
received no punishment other than the usual whooping from my pops
black leather belt.
Time for Yard Out
Nasty Ned
There are a few things that may have helped Mr. Gibraltar keep his
prized pink Gremlin in pristine condition.
First Mr. Gibraltar should not have kept a ladder outside his home.
Ladders easily create extra access points for criminals to gain
entry into your home. If you have no indoor place to store your
ladders you could eisley lock them with a bike lock or chain and
padlock.
Second, Mr. Gibraltar could have easily purchased Mace Window Alerts
or Slide Away Alarms to protect his doors and windows. These two
alarms are very affordable and easy to install. The attempted
entry by Nate would have been detected prior to Nate actually
gaining access to the home and most likely he would have been
scared off.
If you would like more information on Mace Window Alerts, Slide
Away Alarms or even a Home Security System. Go to
www.SelfDefensePlace.com and browse through all the available
security products. You can never be too safe.
Stay Safe
Andy